How To Boost Resilience In Midlife (link To Ny Times)

Discussion in 'What's left to Talk About?' started by Poodlesrule, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. Poodlesrule

    Poodlesrule Well-Known Member

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    Interesting article in NY Times.

    This was forwarded to spouse by a cancer support group leader.

    The ideas developed in the piece apply to many situations in life, where you need to bounce back form adversity,I think.
     
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  2. stevebway

    stevebway Well-Known Member

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    Great wisdom here. Thanks for posting
     
  3. RedLesPaul

    RedLesPaul Well-Known Member

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    Step 1 is to not read the NY Times.
     

  4. thepezident

    thepezident Well-Known Member

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    I've been told they're a failing newspaper...........:whistle:
     
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  5. PsychoCid

    PsychoCid Well-Known Member

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    Is there such a thing as a newspaper that is not failing?
     
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  6. fullonshred

    fullonshred Well-Known Member

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    Appreciate the link. I can always use reminders like many in the article.
     
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  7. thepezident

    thepezident Well-Known Member

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    Depends on who you listen to.....:wink:
     
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  8. supersoldier71

    supersoldier71 Well-Known Member

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    There's some very good advice in that story. I've had the opportunity to do some work with the Applied Positive Psychology program and the Army's version of resilience training. First off, some of the people I've met are some of the most resilient, toughest humans on the planet. Second, I, like many others, believed that resilience was an immutable trait, like height, but I'm pleased to say that the data don't support that position.

    I'm also glad that the article pointed out that the archetype of the "lone wolf" tough guy generally doesn't work in real life for real people.
     
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  9. Chocol8

    Chocol8 Well-Known Member

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    Or what you look at and how long you look back. Do you focus on 2-3 good quarters of digital subscriber growth, continued declines in advertising revenue, or circulation falling in half since the 1980's and ad revenue that is a third of what it was a decade ago?

    The print newspaper industry is all but dead, and none of them have proven a long term sustainable web model yet. They have a few more years before the Boomers start croaking in large numbers. They better figure it out by then.
     
  10. dspellman

    dspellman Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately, there are so many who *can't* read.
    But you can have someone from Fox News tell you what it says.
     
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  11. RedLesPaul

    RedLesPaul Well-Known Member

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    Or not
     
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  12. dspellman

    dspellman Well-Known Member

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    'Cause they won't read it the way it's writ?
     
  13. RedLesPaul

    RedLesPaul Well-Known Member

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    Quite possibly, but then again the NYT won't write it the way it happened either (if it happened at all).
     
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  14. Manodano

    Manodano Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    I liked the article. Great subject. The author failed to mention that most folks have a finite capacity to handle stress, at which point their resiliency is exhausted. I have to retreat when that happens.

    I try to stay ready, because another test of my resiliency is coming. I just hope it's not tonight.

    Now, where's that damn Telecaster...
     
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  15. PsychoCid

    PsychoCid Well-Known Member

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    Well. Effin. Spoken.
     
  16. supersoldier71

    supersoldier71 Well-Known Member

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    Finite, sure. Everybody can be broken. But most of us can develop increased resilience, particularly when it comes to handling stressors by adapting some of our metacognitive processes in more productive ways. Short version: one can become more adaptable and resilient by adopting some of the attitudes of resilient people.

    A key point of the Positive Psych program at UPenn is that everybody has a breaking point, however, case histories have demonstrated that these events are NOT unrecoverable.

    My tiny personal example: June, 2010, some jackass tried to smoke my team and me with command-detonated IED from the side of the road in southern Iraq. It was an EFP--Explosively Formed Projectile--that the Iranians had been teaching Al-Qaeda Iraq how to build because they could breach our vehicle armor. I'd been in convoys that had been hit before, but this time, it was the vehicle immediately BEHIND mine. We'd driven right through the "X". The EFP breached that up-armored Humvee's and sprayed the linguist ALL OVER the other three dudes inside, but they were mostly unharmed except for some hot metal fragments in some unfortunate places.

    I spent the next three days mostly in my room listening to Howlin' Wolf, Hendrix and Nina Simone.

    But, that day gave me perspective. If there are no EFPs involved, it isn't really a bad day.

    So I haven't had a truly bad day since June 2010.
     
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  17. Chocol8

    Chocol8 Well-Known Member

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    A sincere thanks for your service, and hope that you NEVER have another truly bad day again!
     
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  18. RiverDog

    RiverDog Well-Known Member

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    Damn... I would say that's NOT a "tiny" example. I greatly appreciate your service and I'm glad you're out of that situation.
     
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  19. Manodano

    Manodano Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    Thank you for your service to our country. Puts things in a whole different perspective. I need to hear and rehear those stories, I'll whine over damn near nothing compared to that. My shit is tiny indeed. I hope you are embracing the good life, now.

    No EFPs in my world, thanks to you and the others who serve and have served.
     
  20. stevebway

    stevebway Well-Known Member

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    I think the bind here is that to even WANT to be resilient you need a certain degree of self esteem, an awareness of inner vs outer life and at least some willingness to accept inner power to affect somethings in life.
    Large numbers of people are cut off from themselves, their bodies,the senses.They are receivers of content ,packaged content and dogma ( can't talk about both on the forum).
    Be it small things or large we need to own our shit and work with it,not be consumed by it. We have so much technology ,so much potential yet so little owned personal power conceptually.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2017
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