Being An Old Fart Has Its Funny Moments..!

Discussion in 'What's left to Talk About?' started by Poodlesrule, Feb 13, 2019.

  1. Poodlesrule

    Poodlesrule Well-Known Member

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    You go to a minor medical test, and the med. technician, who must be 30 years old at most, says..
    "Are you a smoker?"
    "Not now, but was... quit in 1984!"

    Then you stop short of LOL because you realize that in 1984, it was a few years for tech to be born...!

    Dunno, that's funny to me.

    Other: during the test I got to hear my main aorta, sounds like a loud "bwhamm". Weird, could be sampled to use on synth drums.
     
  2. OMB

    OMB Well-Known Member Supporting Member+

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    Being old...too many doctor visits!
     
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  3. Poodlesrule

    Poodlesrule Well-Known Member

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    <too many doctor visits>

    You don't have to go if you don't wanna.

    Now, my doc wanted an aorta ultrasound to screen for aorta aneurysm (thank you spellchecker). I didn't mind and here is why: my sister's neighbor did get one (and survived), but the barely 40's guy, jovial, strong personality, has had his spark totally taken out, down to the level of the handshake. Was a nurse, had to downgrade to desk job, gets home after a day's work totally pooped out.
     

  4. Mickey

    Mickey Gandalf the Intonationer

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    Don't let anyone tell you getting old is for wimps. Getting old is a lot harder than you think!
    Not for the faint of heart!

    @Poodlesrule An aorta aneurysm is what killed Conway Twitty, he was dead by the time he hit the floor, if memory serves he was in his 40s. EDIT: Oops, he was 59.
     
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  5. sloopdawg

    sloopdawg Well-Known Member Supporting Member+

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    A young pastor moved to town and decided he would go around and introduce himself to the new congregation. He rang the first doorbell and a lady came to the door. She stared at him as he introduced himself.

    She said, “I can't believe how much you look like Conway Twitty, the country music singer.”

    He replied, “Yes, ma’am, I hear that a lot.”

    He went to the next house and the next, and every lady that came to the door said the same thing—that he looked like Conway Twitty.

    At the last house, a shapely young lady came to the door with a towel around her. He started to introduce himself, but she loosened her towel, threw her arms in the air, and screamed, “Conway Twitty!”

    The pastor stood there, stunned. He paused for a moment, then said, “Why, hello dear..."
     
  6. mindwave

    mindwave Well-Known Member

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    sign om the wall of the suicide prevention hotline i volunteered for n college"its easy to die, all you need is about 6lbs of strength", the hard thing, the thing that takes courage and guts the thing that takes stamina, thats what it takes to LIVE. Dying is easy, the cowards way out, living now living aint for sissies....
    it was the hardest period of my life to be in that room after cobain killed himself, night after night listening to all these beautiful co eds crying their eyes out "because he was in sooo much paaaaaiiinnnn and no one noticed..." then they would usually rip into courtney for being right next to him and not doing anything.

    i wanted to SCREAM through the phone, that boy was a coward and a moron, he went and abandoned his daughter to that wasck a nut!

    actually got into it with one of my best friends, she was ayt east 10 years my jr, because i actualluy lost it one night and said just that in her presence

    sorry rant mode offf
     
  7. mindwave

    mindwave Well-Known Member

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    BTW the average force required to pull the trigger on a handgun in the US is an average of 6lbs....
     
  8. tonray

    tonray Well-Known Member Supporting Member+

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    Sometimes they have trouble processing the date in their precious little Instagram saturated brains. That's when you throw in the "don't look so surprised, after grilling up some Brontosaurus steaks it was quite common to smoke a few river reeds back in the day"
     
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  9. Manodano

    Manodano Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    C'mon man, its "Well Hello, Darlin..."

    My wife and I used to take our young kids up to Hendersonville to Twitty City at Christmas time. They got to see the Christmas lights and ride a camel. The crowning touch of it all was, after walking through the various light displays surrounding Conway's actual residence, you came to a big nativity scene where Santa Claus was kneeling, hat in hand, at the foot of the Baby's manger. Quite moving in a hillbilly sort of way, actually.
     
  10. Manodano

    Manodano Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    ... What I meant to say was, men who lie about their age have things backwards.

    Anytime a younger person asks how old I am, I always add 10 years to my age. They think I must be some sort of Superman.
     
  11. Mickey

    Mickey Gandalf the Intonationer

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    Yep, the joke misses something without the "Well, Hello Darlin..."

     
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  12. snarph

    snarph Well-Known Member

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    yea old is when any thing under forty looks like a baby
     
  13. Perfect Stranger

    Perfect Stranger Well-Known Member

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    just leaving your mama's bedroom!
    Old is when you fart dust....
     
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  14. uglyvw

    uglyvw Well-Known Member

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    All joking aside, if you haven't had your heart checked, at any age, get it done. An aneurysm often shows no symptoms at all, and when it goes it's usually pretty much instant. When you hear of some high school athlete dropping dead on the spot, aneurysm is the prime suspect. I had my ascending aorta replaced in 2013 because of the aneurysm it contained. It was a time bomb waiting to go off. Sorry for the serious soapbox, but it feels like family around here, and would suck for someone to keel over when something is preventable.
     
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  15. fullonshred

    fullonshred Well-Known Member

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    Forgive me, somehow I miss the context of this post in this thread.
     
  16. Rollin Hand

    Rollin Hand Well-Known Member

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    Better than farting liquids.
     
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  17. PsychoCid

    PsychoCid Well-Known Member

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    This man has a point.
     
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  18. Rollin Hand

    Rollin Hand Well-Known Member

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    I am still trying to sort out what that is, but......
     
  19. sloopdawg

    sloopdawg Well-Known Member Supporting Member+

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    My Bad
    Nothin' worse than screwing up a good joke
     
  20. Chocol8

    Chocol8 Well-Known Member

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    You know that you’re over the hill when your mind makes a promise that your body can’t fill.
     

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