Ranking All 131 Vh Songs

Discussion in 'What's left to Talk About?' started by Rollin Hand, Sep 12, 2018.

  1. Rollin Hand

    Rollin Hand Well-Known Member

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    http://www.vulture.com/2018/09/chuck-klosterman-ranks-all-131-van-halen-songs.html

    I don't agree with all of this, though it is a fun article. I like the fact that he is familiar with VH Zero (the Gene Simmons-produced demos), which to my view helps the analysis.

    And don't ask me to come up with a top 10. The Van Halen songs I love the most change like the wind.

    EDIT: And I, too, thought Marge was breaking Dave's heart. Possibly while wearing Doc Martins and a plaid flannel shirt with the sleeves cut off.
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2018
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  2. toomanycats

    toomanycats Well-Known Member

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    Just the title of this thread is giving me a mild anxiety attack.

    If I was going to do this ranking, then first off I would partition the first six Roth fronted albums from the subsequent Hagar fronted albums. No disrespect intended to Sammy, but IMHO they're two different bands.

    So . . . I've got the first VH1 through 1984 in front of me. What are my top five songs? (Any more than this will make my head explode)

    1) Romeo Delight
    2) Unchained
    3) DOA
    4) House of Pain
    5) Sinner Swing

    Paging @PsychoCid! HELP!
     
    Last edited: Sep 12, 2018
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  3. Beyer160

    Beyer160 Well-Known Member

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    Holy mother of god, if you're even thinking about reading this, do it right now. Klosterman is on FIRE.

    "The sonic architecture is brilliant and the message is heartfelt, so the only real problem is that it makes me want to shoot myself in the pancreas."

    "There isn’t much else to say about “Best of Both Worlds” besides that it’s good, and that the lyrics offer no explanation about what differentiates the first world from the second world, although one can only assume citizens inhabiting both of those worlds must have been wearing parachute pants."
     
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  4. uwmcscott

    uwmcscott AGF Survivor Champ

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    I think I’d prefer to spend time listening to all 131 instead of ranking them.
     
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  5. Lamf77

    Lamf77 Well-Known Member Supporting Member

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    All I can say is "Beautiful Girls" is in the top ten...just for the smooch sound at the very end. Always thought II may have the best "accessible", radio friendly songs from top to bottom.
    Agree with TMCats on Romeo...I always loved the middle-ish interlude...always reminds me of 'Whole Lotta Love" only with better guitar.
     
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  6. PsychoCid

    PsychoCid Well-Known Member

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    What the heck. I almost resent being dragged into this brain twister. And you don't even want to know the rabbit holes I've been getting into! Anyway, I need to get some Beautiful Girls in there as my #1.

    Then I see you have Unchained which I feel a bit guilty for choosing cause it's the mainstream hit stuff, although I see your chips and raise a cover song with You Really Got Me.

    The rest are pretty darn good. Someone could fit some mean street in there maybe. Well, they could fit a lot of things...
     
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  7. Rollin Hand

    Rollin Hand Well-Known Member

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    Well that's the problem, isn't it? If I tried to do this list, I would work forever, finish it, then look at it the next day and rethink the whole thing. For example, I love "Poundcake", but is it top ten? For me, maybe, but then what would get bumped? The whole process would be an ever-decreasing, never-ending circle, leading inevitably to madness.
     
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  8. RiverDog

    RiverDog Well-Known Member

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    My top 5 would def include Atomic Punk. Drop Dead Legs would be pretty high up the list, too.
     
  9. jtcnj

    jtcnj Well-Known Member

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    I have not been in the VH place in my head for a while, but damn I love those first 4 or 5 records.
    It is truly a testament when a band has so many great songs it is hard to rank or pick a top 10.

    Was just looking at the song line ups on Wiki, damn I miss the days of my youth.

    Bad trivia: I lost my first true love girl friend to a singer in a band that did a LOT of VH covers.
    They were good too.
    Too good gawdammit.
    All a bit arrogant jerks too, and that was my assessment before she kicked me to the curb.
    It was doomed anyway I had gone off to college, but still.
     
  10. Beyer160

    Beyer160 Well-Known Member

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    If you lost a girl to a singer in a VH tribute band, I think you dodged a bullet.
     
  11. jtcnj

    jtcnj Well-Known Member

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    Good point, I heard she didnt age well.
    But she looked a LOT like Victoria Principal and I believe, could suck a golf ball through 50ft of garden hose.
    Going back ol Mary Handy for a long dry spell didnt kill me, but I dont know if it made me any stronger.
     
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  12. nomadh

    nomadh Well-Known Member

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    I wonder if a good middlish dividing line in this group would be people who love VH and people who really mostly dont? In spite of the man himself being a groundbreaking monster player. I feel like I should worship at his feet but the band just does so little for me. I was looking to this list to finally find me all the stuff to change my mind, really. I went to see him in concert and paid for the good seats to really feel the magic. I got nothing but bored and irritated by DLR. I wish I could do some of his tricks and have some of his speed but I really suspect with the work it would take to gain that ability I would feel compelled to make it my style. It would be too hard won to not use those tools all the time and I'd end up not even liking my own playing?
    I wonder if many may think (and I've wondered myself) if I learned to not like it as a guitar player to protect myself as I was never likely to achieve that skill. I'm talking fairly serious self analysis/ therapist (self analrapist?). Why did the 13 year old me hear eruption and spanish fly at a friends house, be super impressed, wowed and then go home and never think about it much again. I can't blame DLR joke singing there.
    On the other hand the first time I heard Schenker in UFO it was like having my first orgasm. Yes, more please. I could listen to MSG for a week at a time. I was never likely to reach his abilities either but I loved it.
    I'm a rock guitar guy. This just doesn't make sense to me. I'm also a vocals guy and I will always need a certain level of vocalist quality and interest before a song gets very far with me. I didn't like most of the 80's hair metal but I liked Ratt and Dokken and later Tesla. Maybe the others and VH were always just to Pop for me. I do generally consider the word a pejorative. It was 20 years of listening before I realized the Beatles were pop just because of such negative connotations. Durning the 80's in HS I thought I was too old to enjoy rock anymore then GnR and Alice in chains hit and I was back in baby! I could not get enough grunge. So interesting, so different yet so comforting and homey and warm. And the vocalist! My God the screams and the guts. Its like the 80's hired lots of tech guitarists and then got jingle singers as front men. Or like in VH, non singers.
    When I heard Hagar was fronting I was quite excited. I thought this was MY VH. I liked hagar. 3 lock box, heavy metal were great and I loved the Montrose album. Sammy with another killer guitarist? It should be perfect and I got Jump? WTF?
    Hitting the top 10 of this list really brought it home for me. VH for me is a novelty act. I loved waldo in hot for teacher.
    I'm just wondering if VH is as confusing to others here as me?
     
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  13. toomanycats

    toomanycats Well-Known Member

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    Did she look like this? ;)
     
    Last edited: Sep 13, 2018
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  14. zisme

    zisme Well-Known Member

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    not being a big VH fan, i can't much comment on the list itself. but i can respect the guy for tackling such an ambitious exercise.

    not sure what the point is beyond being a personal labor of love. i can see myself doing this for pink floyd if i had the time..
     
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  15. rmfroyd

    rmfroyd Well-Known Member AGF Registered Dealer

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    1. Tattoo
    2. All the rest.
     
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  16. jam

    jam Well-Known Member

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    Beat It?
     
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  17. Beyer160

    Beyer160 Well-Known Member

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    As a kid, I added the solo to "Beat It" to the end of my cassette of "Diver Down." Just the solo.
     
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  18. Rollin Hand

    Rollin Hand Well-Known Member

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    Judging by his reply, jtcnj has that covered, though not with enthusiasm.
     
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  19. solteroblues

    solteroblues Well-Known Member

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    I must admit, I'm not really a VH fan, either. I can definitely appreciate his ability, but after a while, I get bored. I like their radio hits, that's about it. I can't get into any of the non-released material. I used to think that I was a DLR VH fan only, but looking back, I probably like more of the SH VH stuff. Some really good songs from both, some really bad stuff, too.
     
  20. Daneman

    Daneman Well-Known Member

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    Enjoyed reading this. Now I'm walking around singing different bits of VH songs. Don't care about ranking order. WE could argue a bunch on that. This guy took his time and had some knowledge . Worthwhile reading for Van Halen fans IMO.
     

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